I am Maria Eleanor Asejo, a full time missionary of No One In Need.
I grew up living a simple and ordinary life and with a Catholic upbringing. I consider myself as a successful student and a good servant of the Lord. During college, I was an active member of a youth community that I joined back then.I can say that my life at that time was truly beautiful and meaningful.
In the year 2011, I graduated and passed the board exam for Nursing. I started working in a private hospital as a radiology nurse but eventually decided to transfer to a public hospital to work as a bedside or ward nurse. Working in the ward was never an easy task.The demand of my job was too much for me to handle. It was physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually draining. There was a lot of pressure coming from myself, from my workmates, from my supervisors and from the workload itself. Because we were understaffed, the nurse to patient ratio was not manageable. It was even difficult for me to find time to eat during my duty hours. I usually spent my days off sleeping only at home. And because of my desire to be excellent, I dedicated everything to my work that I was not able to balance my life. I neglected the essentials in my life like time for my family and loved ones, time for myself and time for God.
At that point, I decided to resign and apply to another private hospital hoping that things could become better. But my struggles at work happened again. Until one day after a few months, I found myself in a desperate situation, having consistent suicidal thoughts. I wanted to end my life. I wanted to be terminally ill. I wanted to meet a dangerous accident just to have a valid reason not to go to work. I literally forgot how to feel happy. The life I used to see as beautiful and meaningful was nowhere to be found. I felt that my life became worthless. I felt lost and trapped.
God never abandoned me though. With His grace,I came to a point of realization that I needed help and that I could not go through these struggles on my own, so I decided to seek professional help. God provided me the people, the means and the strength to consult a Psychiatrist. After my consultation, I was diagnosed with Mild Depression. It was painful to accept but it was enlightening in a way. I was prescribed to take an antidepressant and to undergo psychotherapy.I followed her advice but I stopped taking antidepressants because of the side effects.
My situation prompted me to really look into myself, to reflect and to know my purpose. I watched videos and read articles about finding your purpose, goal, passion etc. And I consistently prayed about it. Because of my search for purpose, I came to a point that I realized I wanted to become a missionary nurse. I sought for ways how to become one until an opportunity came when I talked to the head of No One In Need, a group that works to for the Church of the Poor. I discerned for it and felt the strong call of God for me to resign from my current work and grab the opportunity to be a missionary nurse.
I celebrated my one year as a full time missionary in January of this year. I can say that my life is beautiful and meaningful again. It was a tough journey to take. It took me a couple of months before I finally came to a point of feeling fully healed. It was a very gradual process of healing. I believe it is the Lord that helped me get through it all. Though I still encounter some anxiety from time to time and have tendencies to mentally break down, I am affirmed that I will be able to get through them all because God will always provide the grace that I need in each moment. No matter how far and how dark life may seem, as long as we hold on to our faith and hope to God, life will always be beautiful and meaningful.