Hi! I am Victoria Buenafe from Batangas. Just recently, I was called to become a Mission Volunteer in Live Life Pillar of LCSC.
Bunso ako sa anim na magkakapatid. At an early stage of life, naranasan kong mawalan ng family member. I was 4 years old when my eldest sister died. Sabi ng mga kapatid ko, meningitis daw yung nagging cause. After 3 years, sumunod naman yung Dade ko. Cardiac arrest naman yung dahilan. Growing up, namulat din ako agad sa mga problemang dulot ng mga pinansyal na aspeto ng buhay. Dumadating kami sa puntong dalawang beses lang kumakain sa loob ng isang araw, nagdidildil sa asin at dumating din sa puntong kinailangang huminto sa pag-aaral nung dalawa kong ate na nasa college na at that time.
Dahil doon, lumaki ako sa tahanang malaki ang pagpapahalaga sa edukasyon. I was doing good in school kaya nakakuha ako ng scholarship nung nag-college ako. Pero hindi pa rin naging madali. Dumadating sa puntong yung binabaon ko araw-araw na pampamasahe papuntang school, inuutang na lang ng nanay ko para makapasok ako that time. Kaya wala akong ibang pangarap kundi ang mapagaan yung buhay ng Mame ko.
Unfortunately, when I was in 3rd year, my mother got hospitalized. Lagi naman na siyang na-oospital dati simula nang mawala yung Tatay ko at sa t’wing nangyayari yun, laging yung mga ate ko ang nag-aasikaso sa kanya. Nung ma-ospital siya that time, meron kaming exams noon – prelims. Nasa higher engineering na ako kaya sobrang pressure ako to maintain my grades para ma-maintain ko din yung scholarship ko. Akala ko that time, kagaya lang din yun ng mga nagdaang hospitalization nya. That she will get through it, pero hindi. She passed away without me by her side.
Gumuho ang mga pangarap ko, yung mga pangarap namin na hindi pa man nasisimulan ay bigla na lang naglaho. Madami akong regrets as a daughter – madami pa sana akong pwedeng gawin para sa nanay ko pero hindi ko nagawa. I should have been this kind of daughter to her. For the longest time, I lived a half-baked life – kunwari strong independent woman pero breaking inside. Sa t’wing nakakasalamuha ko yung mga titas and nanay both in the church and in the community, nadudurog ako, nilalamon ng mga regrets.
But the Lord saw all these. He has been my light. Looking back, ang daming taliwas na pwede sanang nangyari but God’s voice was always stronger. He comforted me and reminded me na, “I am not a God of the past, I am a God of the present. You shouldn’t live in yout regrets – madami kang dapat sana ay nagawa, pero wag mong kalimutang madami ka pang magagawa.”
Because of that, I set another dream and that is to meet my parents – yung Mame and Dade at ate ko sa langit. They lived their life to the fullest – full of pain, endurance, love and sacrifices. I realized that life is a gift and tomorrow is not guaranteed. It took 3 important lives para marealize ko yun. ‘Yung mamaya at ‘yung bukas, hindi yung sigurado. Ang tanging sigurado lang ay yung buhay ko ngayon, right here and right now na ibinigay at ibinibigay sakin ng Diyos. I still have a long way to go for I to reach heaven, but I will live my life without regrets. I will not live a half-baked life because my Creator wants nothing but the genuine and authentic in me. My life is a gift and how I live this life is my pathway to heaven.
This is Victoria, naniniwala at nagpapahalaga sa biyaya at grasya ng BUHAY.